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Writer's pictureBindu Pothalil

I am an Heretic



I am an Heretic.


Last night, I had a dream linked with my history, the witches and the persecution wounds women can often feel and which can be an ancestral trauma preventing them from taking all their space, to speak their truth and to share their gifts, out of the fear of being persecuted. Can you relate? 


In my dream, while working in a big corporation, people started to look at me in a strange way as the management and my family asked them to evaluate my behaviour and my mental condition which was considered as disturbed, while I was feeling totally sane. At some point, I was called to the HR office and they told me they had to intervene on my being for the safety of everybody. They attached two metal clips to regulate my system. I knew that these clips were injecting sedatives into my system through my hair. I fought as hard as I could but could not escape. As soon as they put the metal clips on my hair, I was not able to articulate in an intelligible way but I desperately tried to explain to the main director what they did to me. He ordered them to remove these metal clips.


This dream reminded me of my own history. Since an early age, I was a rebel, questioning everything, unafraid to voice uncomfortable and taboo things such as death, suffering, … Around 14, my Indian family brought me to see a priest because ‘I was causing too much trouble to my parents’.


As a teenager, I was sent to an asylum as my parents thought that there was something wrong with me because of my rebellious attitude and directness. The doctor told them I was sane. 


Since early childhood, I’ve been questioning everything. I was never able to comply to a rule or a statement without going to its roots, I was the one raising things everybody preferred to avoid because I always had the need to know what is True beyond social and culture conditioning. I’ve always felt at ease to inquire taboo topics, darker, uncomfortable feelings. This background allows me to hold space for my clients, in Loving Presence, with whatever is present for them, with no judgement and no repression. 


Healing is not about transcending our humanity, nor making it purer or fixing it. Healing is about the ability to Be with what is present to connect with the Wisdom/Truth/Medecine of our wounds for an expanded realm of reality in our body, mind and heart.


This dream made me feel the suffering of the witches, being persecuted because of their opinions/habits/way of living “at odds with what was generally accepted” which is the definition of a HERETIC. They were REBELS, threatening the status quo, being connected to Truth. 


Finally, I am a Projector with the Heretic line.

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